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Past the Long Grass

(Revised)Just yesterday I waited by the gatefor you to skirt the hill and tapped my watch.You laughed and played at trying hard to catchyour breath, though it's your custom to be late.And as we took...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Oooh, this is a dark one. It leads us in a direction and leaves us with too much momentum to turn away. And where it goes is particular to the reader. Masterful. Daniel, your command of imagery is...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

It is a lady's prerogative to be late.They know damn well that we will wait..Intriguing piece of writing left me wondering

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Re: Past the Long Grass

leaves me wondering at the unwritten story...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Thanks, everyone. Hope you all had a great Christmas. Thanks, Brandon. You're always so positive even when my story telling slips into the mist.Thanks, Ivor & willowdown.I wrote this one in the...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

This is lovely, Daniel. I very much like the shift felt in S3 and the sense of looking back while looking forward -- intertwining past and present. Wonderful images and, as usual, written in your...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

.Daniel, my man, this is publication quality work.have you looked into local small presses?think about it if you have not ... you have the goods.thanks for a crisp read; rich and deep.your friend in...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

I likes it and I like the freedom it allows for the mind to travel different roads. Kewl.

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Re: Past the Long Grass

I found this to be an intriguing poem, Daniel... It sparks the imagination and leaves the reader wanting more. dan

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Hey guys Thanks for your feedback and positivity. I've revised this so that hopefully the clarity and structure have improved.Hope everyone had a good Christmas and has a cracking new...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Dear DB,This sonnet both puts us there and share the emotion.Those two intentsions seem to me perfect for poetry and perfectly achieved.Cheers, ron jgd

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Thanks, Ron. Sorry for the late reply. I've had my head down working on revisions.I'm really glad you liked the poem.DB

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Re: Past the Long Grass

A stately poem, movingly expressive of the love of two people, and their happiness in that love. But there's the implication that the happiness has come after difficulties in life - that's what gives...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Daniel, I missed the revision here earlier ... but it's fantastic! I really think you've accomplished what you set out to do with this one ... and it's gorgeous What if the Hokie Pokie really is what...

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Worth a further. reading Daniel. You express well the ripening of friendship into something deeper.Love pays no attention to age at all

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Thanks guys. I've been working pretty hard on improving the clarity and I'm pleased that the story is coming through.Thanks for your encouraging comments.DB

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Reading it for the first time Daniel, and the story is clear, and beautiful.Regards,Maryse

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Re: Past the Long Grass

This story pulled me in and your skillwith the words.Thanks for the chance to read this fine poem.kerri

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Re: Past the Long Grass

Thanks Kerri & Maryse.I'm really glad that you enjoyed the poem and appreciate your kind thoughts. DB

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